Pulled Through the Snow

This story is not about flying down a hill until my eyes get pushed back into my head or being pulled by a truck down a snowy road and almost dying, this is about my grandpa, being pulled through the snow... by a cow (don't worry Ms. Harstone said it was okay). Knowing my family, surprisingly, this was not on purpose.

My eighty-eight year old Grandpa owns a small farm just outside of Ardrossan, Alberta and runs a Cow-Calf operation. Basically he breeds cows, lets the calves grow for about a year and then sells them. He doesn't make much money, but he loves his job and that's all that matters.

 

Anyway, one day in winter, usually the time the cows give birth, my grandpa headed into the barn to check on the soon-to-be mother cows. He opened the door (an old piece of chipboard) to the barn and set it precariously against the wall. One of the cows was crowning, so he kept a close eye on her as she... did her thing. Occasionally however, the calf gets stuck and you have to use a tool called a "calf-puller." It's pretty much a rope with a "choke chain" to hook the cow's legs on, and a ratchet to pull it out with.

 

So, he hooked it up like he has to do at least a few times a year and started ratcheting.  Just then, the door of the barn fell right on a cow standing near the door. This caused a huge racket which spooked the cow that was giving birth and she started running. Alright, not a big deal, they're fenced in, she'll just run out to the pen and calm down right? Well... one problem, the calf puller was still attached to the calf which was inside the mother, my grandpa desperately tryed to get it off its legs but managed to get his first two fingers caught! You would be surprised how strong cows can be... and fingers can be. The cow pulled my grandpa right out the door (by his two fingers), through the snow and heading for a fence. It wasn't stopping. I would imagine this wasn't that fun of a ride. Desperately trying to untangle himself, the cow jumped over the six foot tall chain-linked fence sending my grandpa face first into it. The sheer force of the collision pulled the chain right off his hand, the cow still bookin' it. Amazingly, my grandpa was totally fine.

If we got this on camera, it would be a YouTube sensation! The funniest part of the story was the purple and green (bruised) checkered pattern left on his face by the wire fence. Classic!

 

 

My Grandpa and I, last year.

Funny Kids

At a family reunion a couple of years ago in Canmore, I saw some of my cousins that I had not seen in a long time. Andria, who is now married and almost thirty, brought her three year old daughter, Kenedy. Now this girl was like no three year old I have ever been in contact with. I'm not gonna lie, she probably sounded more proffessional than me! She was incredibly articulate! Anyway, my cousin Ashleigh who is around my age, and I took all of the younger kids to the park across the street to play around before dinner. Kenedy walked up to the swings and forced herself up like a dog trying to climb onto a tall bed. She started swinging, but then suddenly stopped, a look of confusion on her face. She then stood up on the swing, looked down and blerted out "there is bee buzzing beneeth me!" Ashleigh and I exploded into laughter, totally ignoring the little girl stading on a swing that was higher off the ground as she was tall.

Another time I experienced this was acctually when I did something hilarious. Last year my family and I were going through old family videos and we discovered a very funny one of me. The video stated off with my mom reading my favorite book and then handing it to me. "Can you read it?" asked my dad. I knoded my head and started "reading." It wasn't acctually reading though, I had memorized the first two pages of the book! I "read" it quickly and clearly but when my dad asked me to "keep going," I froze. The look on my face was priceless! It was embarassement mixed with anger for my dad, knowing full well I had barely even figured out the concept of reading, who continued video taping me. The best part was, I tryed to cover it up by saying "uhh... I'm good," and ran away, my face cherry red!